The Movie Rants & Reviews!

     Ever get those moments when you've watched what you hoped would be a good film only to come out of it disapppinted and wanted to rant off to someone.
     Me too.....

1. Alice In Wonderland
   [6/march/2010] Score: 7/10
   This is not Alice in Wonderland.  This is not Alice Through The Looking Glass.  This is the Hollywood interpretation of a possible sequel to the aforementioned classic stories.
   Alice is a rather excessively self-confident young woman who is about to be married off to the local Lord of the manor, when what does she spy, with a wondering and a wandering eye, but a white rabbit, and quicker than you can say Drink Me she's chasing the rabbit down the hole into a world she seems to half-remember from her childhood, meeting characters who all insist that she's not really THE Alice.  Which I guess is what everyone else who loved the original stories is nodding in agreement with.
   However, fictional dislocation notwithstanding, this is an entertaining little romp through the Wonderland of Alice.  Except, perhaps to say one final point of warning.  This is a confused Alice, one with both the childhood wonder of all the beauty and magic in the world, and the distinctly, resolutely grown-up view on "reality", and all its nastiness.  So whether watched by adults, or children, this may leave you feeling a little odd afterwards, which is, in one way, perfectly suited for the Adventures of Alice, In Wonderland.
   Verdict: Watch Me
2. The Crazies
   [28/february/2010] Score 5/10
   When you've seen enough of these end-of-the-world zombie-like films you know the formulae.  There is always the good guy, often the local cop, or other good man, who wants a quiet life.  The idiot Mayor/priest/community leader who refuses to listen to warnings and prefers to ignore the zombies banging on the door, the Good Wife/Girlfriend, the assorted friends and recent acquaintances, who are all doomed to die horribly, and so on.
   What's so educational about these films is How Not To Do It. Don't walk alone in the dark alley without carrying a reliable torch, if someone tells you the local water supply is poisoned then switch immediately to bottled water and tell everyone you can find, always carry a gun with lots of ammunition, shoot carefully to spare your ammo, not like an American with an endless supply of gun shops on every corner, NEVER trust the Man From The Government, especially when he smiles and tells you everything is going to go well, and no, that isn't a nuclear bomb they just brought into the town high school to sanitize everything.
   And where do the government get all the high technology to track every single movement of everyone by satellite, but can't find their own aircraft after a week of searching?
   Verdict: A recommended learning experience.
3. Solomon Kane
   [20/february/2010] Score: 7/10
   Compared to last week's dire and doom-laden Wolfman, Solomon Kane is a breath of fresh, albeit damp, air.  And by damp I mean the endless drizzle of a typical English summer, mixed with light flurries of snow, as we are pursued by the demons of hell in pursuit of Solomon's soul in his battle to save the young innocents from dark doom in the superstitious 16th Century.
   This story at least has a sense of direction and pace that last week's venture lacked, and deserves the rewards of an extra point. 
   Verdict: Pursue it.
4. The Wolfman
   [13/february/2010]   Score: 3/10
   The moment I saw the local village priest standing at the church pulpit warning the terrified villagers about dark forces in the mist, I thorugh I heard Wallace & Gromit bursting through the door in search of the Were-Rabbit, and laughed.
   Which isn't quite how this dark, gloomy, mist-shrouded tale of terror is supposed to be seen.
   With everyone striding around dark street and the dark, misty, corridors of the run-down old mansion, surrounded ina dark gloom of ill-fate, I knew we were in for mysterious time.
   The story was just as mist-shrouded and befuddled, hence the continuous expectation of a were-rabbit popping out of nowhere to announce that this was all a Carry On comedy.
   It wasn't, and disappeared up its own dark, misty backside.
   Verdict: "Cheese!"
5. Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief
   [12/february/2010]  Score: 4/10
   Nice special effects and a story lost in the myths of ancient times as everyone pretended they're Greek demi-gods in some New York State holiday camp.
   With all the appearanced of a straight "Harry Potter & The..." rip-off this attempt to create a viable succesor to Mr Potter lacks the kind of depth of story and character the audience is expecting nowadays.
   Take one example, in Potter's world they study hard, learn much, and apply their learning to great effect.  In Percyworld they grin and get by on innocence.   For instance, a girl who is supposed to have been a lifelong member of the camp and therefore fully-steeped in all ancient myth, history and education and is supposed to possess the greatest talent for strategy and battle skill, turns into a useless sidekick girlie the moment the aciton begins with no knowledge of anyting useful.
   Verdict: Worth a lightning look at most.
6. Youth In Revolt
   [11/february/2010] Score: 5/10
   Teen angst goes overboard into youth rebellion and chaotic crisis as love-struck puppy has eyes for sweet girl and sets out to wreck havoc to get the girl.
   Show you want can happen when they get their hooks into you.
   Verdict:
7. Invictus
   [6/february/2010] Score: 6/10
   Here's a strange tale, a sports film from America not about some daft American sport, but about Rugby!?
   Fortunately Rugby is just the focus for larger theme about racism, reconciliation, forgiveness and hope for a better world as the story tells of Nelson Mandela's attempt to unify a terrified and divided South Africa.
   Only issue I have about it, is the repeated use of "Invictus" without really exploring what is is and why it's so important.
   Verdict: Good game.
8. The Book Of Eli
   [16/january/2010]  Score: 5/10
   The world has come to an end in some unknown apocalypse (note the huge craters in the background) and one wandering loner carries a vital book of enormous power that could destroy or revive the world, causing others to hunt him down and steal it from him.
   Reminded me a little of the novel "The Postman" (NOT the atrocious movie), which would be a far better read.  But if you want simple Mad Max-style action then this will pass muster for a couple of hours.
   Verdict:  Desolate.
9. Up In The Air
   [16/january/2010]  Score: 10/10
   A grown up comedy-drama about another form of apocalypse (see above and below)  the deep recession in America and its effects on everyone involved in the job-loss industry. It's beautifully written and performed and makes a relief from a lot of the nonsense around and doesn't shy away from the reality of these dreadful situations.   At heart it's a love story for the middle American recession.
   Verdict: Well-grounded.
10. Daybreakers
    [9/january/2010] Score: 5/10
    A moody gloomy, vampire film in the same theme as "I Am Legend" (the novel and the string of films that followed: Last Man On Earth, Omega Man, I Am Legend), with an ample supply of blood splattering everywhere, but a hopeless predictability towards the end.
    Verdict: I am fed-up.
11. Sherlock Holmes
    [27/december/2009]   Score: 7/10
    Boisterous, comic-book style Sherlock Holmes locks horns with evil masterminds in the heart of Victorian London and wicked plots ensure to overthrow The Empire, eh-gad!
    Might not quite appeal to traditionalist, but for fun-filled adventure in grimy streets through to the glittering heights of Society you can't go wrong.
    Verdict: Catch this while the game's afoot.

Earlier reviews are archived here:-

• Archive 03 - 2009
  Sherlock Holmes, Avatar, St Trinians 2, Law Abiding Citizen, Twilight: New Moon, The Informant, 2012, Harry Brown, Jennifer's Body, The Fourth Kind, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Zombieland, Pandorum, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Gamer, Whiteout, Sorority Row, Julie And Julia, District 9, Broken Embraces, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra, Moon, Ice Age 3, Land Of The Lost, Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, Public Enemies, Sunshine Cleaning, Year One, Blood: The Last Vampire, Transformers: The Revenge Of The Fallen, Red Cliff, The Hangover, Drag Me To Hell, Terminator Salvation, 12 Rounds, Tormented, Night At The Museum II, Angels & Demons, Star Trek, Coraline, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, State Of Play, Crank: High Voltage, Race To Witch Mountain, Fast and Furious, Let The Right One In, Dragonball:Evolution, Monsters V. Aliens 3D, The Boat That Rocked, Knowing, Lesbian Vampire Killers, Duplicity, Flash Of Genius, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Watchmen, Gran Turino, The International, Push, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Bolt 3-D, Doubt, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, Frost/Nixon, Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans, Slumdog Millionaire, Wrestler, Defiance, The Spirit, Che
• Archive 02 - 2008.
  Covers: Bedtime Stories, Australia, Yes Man, A Bunch Of Amateurs, Twilight, Madagascar Escape 2 Africa, Inkheart, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Transporter 3, Body of Lies, Zack and Miri make a porno, Max Payne, Quantum of Solace, Burn After Reading, Eagle Eye, Igor, House Bunny, City Of Ember, How To Loose Friends And Alienate People, The Dutchess, Righteous Kill, Death Race, Appaloosa, Taken, Tropic Thunder, Rocknrolla, Pineapple Express, Bangkok Dangerous, Get Smart, Babylon A.D., Hellboy:The Golden Army, The Mummy: Dragon Emperor, Kung Fu Panda, The X-Files: I Want To Believe, The Dark Knight, Wall-E, Journey to The Centre Of The World, The Forbidden Kingdom, Hancock, Female Agents, Wanted, Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, The Incredible Hulk, Gone Baby Gone, Superhero Movie, Mongol, Nim's Island, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, What Happens In Vegas, Doomsday, Speed Racer, Iron Man,Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Deception, Street Kings, In Bruges, Fool's Gold, 21, Leatherheads, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Step Up 2 The Streets, The Cottage, 10000 BC, Vantage Point, Untraceable, The Bank Job, Rambo, There Will Be Blood, Jumper, Juno, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Sweeny Todd, Cloverfield, Underdog, Aliens versus Predator, No Country For Old Men, Charlie Wilson's War, Alvin and the Chipmonks
• Archive 01 - upto end-2007.
  Covers: I Am Legend, St Trinian's, Enchanted, The Golden Compass, Hitman, August Rush, American Gangster, Beowolf 3D, Silk, Lions for Lambs, Good Luck Chuck, Planet Terror, Elizabeth The Golden Age, 30 days of Night, Nancy Drew, The Dark Is Rising, Sicko, Eastern Promises, Stardust, Ratatouille, Resident Evil: Extinction, Heartbreak Kid, Day Watch, The Kingdom, The Brave One, Michael Clayton, Deathproof, Disturbia, Shoot 'Em UP, Run Fatboy Run, Breach, Knocked Up, The Bourne Ultimatum, The Simpsons, The Hoax, Evan Almighty,Transformers, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Die Hard 4.0, Shrek The Third, Fantastic Four, Silver Surfer, Ocean's Thirteen, Wedding Daze, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, The Painted Veil, 28 Weeks, Spiderman 3, Reno 911, Straightheads, Next, Alpha Dog, The Reaping, Fracture, Shooter, Curse of the Golden Flower, Sunshine, Amazing Grace, 300, Sleeping Dogs, Premonition, Outlaw, Science of Sleep, Hot Fuzz, Blood Diamond, Miss Potter, Apocalypto, Flags of our fathers, Eragon, Casino Royale, Starter for Ten, Romanzo Criminale, Departed, Devil Wears Prada, Hoodwinked, DOA - Dead or Alive, Crank, A Scanner Darkly, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Miami Vice, Superman Returns, X-Men 3, V for Vendetta, Aeon Flux, Underworld:Evolution, Just LIke Heaven, King Kong, Keeping Mum, Goblet of Fire, Constant Gardener, Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Wererabbit, Howl's Moving Castle, Serenity, Fantastic Four, War of the Worlds, Kung Fu Hustle, Batman Begins, The Jacket, Kingdom of Heaven, Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, The Interpeter, Placid Lake, Maria Full of Grace, Miss Congeniality, Hitch, Hotel Rwanda, The Life Aquatic, Shall We Dance, Sideways, Sky Captain, The Terminal, Hero, Chronicles of Riddick, Helboy, Dodgeball, Bourne Supremacy